tiresome, exciting, disappointing, and funny.
Meeting the Moms that you like who have the kids that your kid likes.
First I need to learn the culture of the city here. Phoenix is NOT Santa Monica, where I previously lived, and it's NOT New York City, who I previously was (sort to speak). Its its own place. Good and bad to it. The summer. Bad. The homes. Good. The shopping. Wal Mart= Bad. The land. Mountains= Good. And so on.
I've tried Meet Up groups. I've put myself out there, trying to connect with Moms. Olivia tries to kiss every toddler she sees. I've even started a toddler Learn and Play class in my community---- but it is only time that will build the fortresses that I call friendship. The boats that keep us floating.
I was with a group of Moms who were talking feverishly about another Mom. I asked them "who is this Mom?" and they replied "you don't watch Moms of OC?" or some kind of reality show. No. I don't. I am a reality show! We all are!
Is this everywhere? This escape into another person's drama, life, pain...ignoring our own- or numb to it?
I swear that I was able to share, listen, and be heard at times of my life. I swear I knew those kind of amazing people who thought beyond their city, beyond their TV.
Maybe my time to be dreaming, or to be far away in thought is just not now? Maybe it is all about the baby, the moment, the here and now. The "Mommy" stage of life. But I do still have dreams, thoughts, disappointments, and they must be shared even if I am typing them out into the great space of inter net land far and beyond. I know that other Moms look to connect with people, to share, and to feel.
so that's the raw truth blog update. with out the poetry and photos.
not sure if anyone will read it. But send me luck as I continue to "Mommy date" and seek those friendships that are gold. because- God knows, I miss all of you who helped carry me through heavy times. I need you now...
